What makes you ‘cool’?

Hi all,

Have you ever considered yourself as being cool?

What does cool even mean?

I don’t think it’s a word I would have ever used to describe myself – in my younger years or my adult years.

To me, cool means popular… and the word ‘popular’ to so many springs up a whole heap of memories and emotions. Imagine the scene, like every single teen movie out there. The ‘popular’ crowd. Beautiful, confident, always looked amazing. Teachers loved them, we all wanted to be them, they rarely put a foot wrong, were always praised and glorified. And us? Well we sat in the background. Some in awe, some in detest, others simply daydreaming about what it would be like to be them. However, unlike the movies, we never got our moment. We never had our extreme makeover, removed our glasses or got an awesome haircut which thrust us into popularity. We left school being uncool to so many, including in our own minds.

Then I think we all split. Some of those who were seen as cool at school slipped into obscurity. Others flourished. Some became cool because of the job they managed to bag after university or work up to. Those roles seemed perfect, idyllic, inspiring. Some became cool because of the money they earned and what it enabled them to buy. Success often lead to confidence, and confidence is always cool, right?CTRG

Life in your twenties I feel seemed to be a pursuit of ‘coolness’. We want to be envied and admired. We want to be perceived as a success. We want to feel good about ourselves.

Then the next decade comes along. And that’s the one I’m in. I wasn’t cool in school. I think anytime I ever felt cool in my twenties I was immediately shot down, feeling inadequate by others. So how do I feel now? Am I cool?

When I think of others right now that I deem cool, I think of two factors. Popular and talented aka admired. Yes, popularity, that old chestnut again (will that ever leave?). If I am being harsh on myself I would say I am neither popular nor very talented. I don’t have a crowd of people to look to. I don’t have people to call up when I want to watch a movie or hang out. I’m not a part of any group messages nor do many come to me for advice or help. As for talent, well that’s where I must give myself a slap on the wrist and say naughty Jen. I do have talent, I know that. But enviable talent? Maybe not. I know a crap tonne about CrossFit, technique and movement for example. But I can’t do a handstand push up or a heavy snatch. So no one takes my advice. You’re not admired. You can’t be cool Jen.

But this really doesn’t sound right to me!

So why, as a grown adult in my thirties, married for 8 years and very happy still see ‘coolness’ as a desirable thing? Is it that vibe we want to put out into the world? Does being cool actually mean nothing to us personally but it is a word we wish others to perceive us as? Maybe you want your kids to see you as a cool Mum or Dad? Maybe you just want others to notice you? Maybe you want to be cool to impress your neighbours (hello Joneses)?

Maybe being cool shouldn’t mean being popular or having lots of talent. Maybe I shouldn’t class those who are surrounded by a group of friends or someone who brags about going on a fun trip as cool. Maybe we stop using the word to compare ourselves to others in order to bring us down. We aren’t our former teenage selves.

I am cool if I say I am. I am cool because I’m kind. I am cool because I am generous. I am cool because I love Iron Maiden. I am cool because I had 2 coffees this morning #rockstar.

You are cool when you are you and when you say you are.

What does being cool mean to you?

Do you link cool to being popular?

What makes you cool?

Linking up with Thinking out loud 

7 thoughts on “What makes you ‘cool’?

  1. Juli says:

    Cool is kinda an elusive construct, right? And my definition overlaps with yours to an extent but differs though. So interesting! Again! As a teenager, I wished to be cool. It always had this aura of ‘not having to try hard’ and ‘not having to bother’ for me. Now I see this more as indifference. And being too cool to do something that has to be done appears to me as just being stupid. I don’t want to be cool anymore. I will always have to try hard and I will always bother. I am okay with that.
    Juli recently posted…Week in Review – So this is 2018My Profile

    • Jen says:

      Oh I like this! When I told David about your definition of cool he replied ‘YES! I totally get where Juli is coming from, it’s how I see it too!’. Isn’t it amazing how one word can be viewed so many different ways – probably due to our experience of the word.

  2. RunWright says:

    I like this post about thinking about the desire of social acceptance and popularity and acknowledging that your own approval matters most of all.
    Thanks for sharing. I found you in the TOL link up
    RunWright recently posted…2018. Word!My Profile

  3. Cora says:

    Oh gosh. Cool. I guess in elementary or high school, cool was the people who were “popular” – who everyone wanted to be friends with. What got them there? Usually always having the latest fashions and brand name clothes. A nice house in town that everyone could go to, and so they could easily hang out with lots of people (I always lived way out in the boons). Obviously looks played a factor – the pretty girls that all the boys liked. I was always jealous of them, and yes, would do silly things like convince my mom to buy me the latest “roxy” t-shirt (instead of my brothers’ handy downs which I had always chosen to wear) just so I could be like them.

    I like to think of my own version of “cool” as seeing those people who are friends with anybody and everybody. They don’t belong to just one “group,” and spend their time equally amongst all people. And now, I see “cool” as someone who is comfortable with who they are. Who are interested in self care/self guidance and learning more about others and the world. I think the coolest people are some of the middle aged women i know who have learned to love their bodies, do yoga, and love their chocolate. I want to be them when I grow up.
    Cora recently posted…Friday Favorites: Recent Words, Quotes and SynchronicityMy Profile

    • Jen says:

      Brand names, a nice house that everyone could go to, good looks… yup… does the high school experience ever change? I would love to talk to someone one day who really was popular in high school, what was there experience like? Was it really sunshine and roses?
      Hell yeah for strong confident women being the cool ones out there! Always owning who they are and what they like, not caring if it doesn’t conform to anyone else’s standard… yeah, they rock!

Comments are closed.