Why you should focus on where you are, rather than where you have been #5TTT

Hi all,

Do you ever reflect back on the past?

What do you think about yourself? Ever get frustrated?

I was talking this week to someone who was really angry and frustrated that they could no longer do the things they could do a few years ago, due to a needed time out. This person oozed angry energy and brought it up frequently. It was sad to see because I knew she was suffering by reacting this way.

So why do we do this to ourselves? From big issues like above to smaller ones like wishing we could still drink the same way as we did at university without a hangover, it’s easy to dive into the past and crave the life we once had. It’s familiar. It’s safe and we knew who we were. It’s a trend I tend to see with those 35 + but it’s creeping now into the younger generations too.

So for this weeks 5 top tips on a Tuesday I am going to help you to leave the past where it is at – proving to you that you should focus on now, rather than where you have been.you-are - chase the red grape

The past is the past

It is as simple as that. We cannot alter the past, we cannot control the past but most importantly we cannot live in the past. A life where we are constantly reliving the past in a negative way will damage the future and current you. Be proud of the things you have achieved and done in your lifetime, but don’t let the comparison trap between current you and old you take over.

Reflection can lead to unhappiness

Reflecting back can fill us with pride, hope at how far we have come, determination and just one great big smile. But reflection can also lead to deep unhappiness. Why were you the way you were back then? Was it because you were young? Had no commitments like work and children? Or did you simply have the time to devote to your hobby that you no longer have now? Maybe you are the opposite and you are unhappy with choices you have made in the past. Choices that you continue to beat yourself up about. If you must reflect then ask yourself these questions and similar to find out why the difference between old you and current you frustrates you so much.

Change happens because we are all human

For as many years as you have been on this world you are fully aware that change happens. Good change and bad change. We are human. Our bodies will change, our minds will expand, our circumstances come and go. Change is just a part of our existence on this planet. The sooner you can embrace the changes you have been dealt with the happier you will be. Even if they are rotten like being sick, the sooner you can find contentment and positivity the sooner you will find calm.

You can only be what you are now

Yes no matter what, you can only be what you are now! It is as harsh as that! In fact it is exactly what I said to the woman I was describing above. Own who you are. Be proud of who you are. And if there are things you want to improve upon then be that man or woman who is out there trying their best to just be better. Inspire others by your drive forward, not your focus on the past.

The present is exciting!

You can’t live in the past and you can’t live in the future. The only thing you can do is live for right now… and that is super exciting! Everything is ahead of you. You are in the driving seat of your own life. Take the wheel. Own it and ride that road into the future. Just remember to enjoy the drive. The road trip, not the destination is where the fun lies.

Do you tend to reflect on the past often?

Is there anything that your old self could do that you can’t do now?

Tell me something you can do right now that you are super proud of?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

12 thoughts on “Why you should focus on where you are, rather than where you have been #5TTT

    • Jen says:

      I’m glad you enjoyed the post Meg. I can only imagine how much mourning and yearning for your former life that you would naturally experience. But then I’m sure every new mum and dad does. The life you lead now, although different, is so incredible. 🙂

    • Jen says:

      Yay I am so glad it is working for you, I hoped it would 🙂 And you still always have the future to look forward to, it’s like a win win!

  1. Cora says:

    Oh boy. This has got to be the hardest one for me out of all. Not only have i found myself frequently longing desperately for the “good times” when i was younger and free and seemingly happy, but then i also used to get stuck in the painful realizations and guilt of things i have done in the past. Specifially all the time “wasted” in my eating disorder. And longing for the days before the illness began. Sigh. But you are right. Staying focused on the past wont do much except cause heart break or yearning, and will not get us closer to the goals we want now. You can always learn from the past of course, but i will not get my dreams or be happy in my place in life unless i focus only on the present and what i can do NOW. Ugh. Pep talk needed.
    Cora recently posted…Eating From a Box: What I Ate WednesdayMy Profile

    • Jen says:

      Let your memories be full of the good times but leave guilt and regret in the past, where it belongs. You are so different now that it is not fair to let the Cora of now justify and sacrifice for the Cora that has gone.
      Now is where we can be happy. Now is where we can be who we want to be. Now is exciting! 🙂

  2. Leo Tat says:

    I feel most of us live in the past or the future but hardly in the present. We are either thinking about what we did right or wrong before or thinking about our next task or future goal.

    The books ‘A New Earth: Create a Better Life’ and ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle are good reading. He talks about taking some time to notice our breathing or just curiously at nature like a flower, it brings us present. I am still practicing to make it a part of my being.
    Leo Tat recently posted…Is Bread Good or Bad for Your Health? How and Why?My Profile

    • Jen says:

      Thanks so much for the tips about the books Leo! I have heard amazing things about ‘The Power of Now’ – I will try and request it from my local library. And will definitely check out ‘A New Earth’ too – both sound exactly like the books I love to read and be inspired by!

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