F**k keeping up with the Joneses! #5TTT

Hi all,

Keeping up with the Joneses. Since the start of social media I think we all can agree that the Joneses are no longer just our neighbours. They are our Facebook friends, bloggers, celebrities, anyone that hashtags the same as us on Instagram. Yes you guess it, it’s the old comparison chestnut again!

But rather than write yet another blog post about how we are unique and we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others online, I’m going to get you rethinking the entire concept so it pretty much becomes obsolete.

You are a Jones. I am a Jones. Everyone wants to be a Jones but don’t you realise in some shape or form you already are.

I was having a moan one day about my work, or lack of it as I was moaning about. I looked at other bloggers and writers and craved for what they had. I looked up to them, then looked down at me. I wanted the status, I wanted the credibility, I wanted the break. But then I read a comment on my blog. Someone had mentioned how lucky I was to live in Perth Australia. To be that close to the beach, to have all the sunshine. She wanted it, she craved it. To her, I was a full blown Jones.

And of course to them, your life is perfect…. even if in reality it’s not.

We are all each others Jones. Everyone has something that another craves, desires, wants or looks up to. Below are simply 5 common ones (blown to the extreme for effect, as we do in our minds), but don’t let the stature of these points fool you, your desire to be like the Joneses can be big or small.chase the red grape

Career Jones

Career Jones seemingly got everything she wanted. Good grades at university, stepped into an excellent job with prospects and is now climbing up the ladder. Maybe she got promoted younger than you or got a ‘job well done’ bonus. Career Jones is also that woman (or man) who left their career behind to go where their passion lay. And guess what, it all worked out and they have made a successful business from it!

Body Jones

Body Jones looks stunning. Perfect hair, makeup (maybe even without makeup), toned, tanned and fabulous, right? Everything is so effortless from their style to how they fix their hair, oh did I mention that they have the time and money to get regular hair cuts, manicures and pedicures? No need for a spray tan, they seem to go from gorgeous to glowing whenever summer comes around. And who cares if someone takes a bikini picture, they will always rock it!

Travel Jones

Travel Jones jumped on a plane with her husband for a new life in one of the most beautiful areas of Australia without a second thought. She lives 10 minutes from the beach, which, is just an endless vision of crystal clear golden beach and sand. Every weekend is new adventures exploring and there are so many countries near by. Every day is wonderful, exciting and picture perfect…. right?

(Sound good? Yeah life is good, but as with everything, perfection it aint!).

Fitness Jones

Fitness Jones, gosh I see so many Fitness Jones that I simply want to be! They are so strong and fast and they make everything look so effortless. How does it come so naturally to them? And let’s face it they often are our Body Jones too. Everyone at the gym looks up to them, and everyone wants to be their friend because they are so cool and can do all these things I wish I could do too. Sigh!

Family Jones

Family Jones is happily married to the most wonderful man/ woman. They love each other deeply, give each other little gifts, especially flowers. They never forget birthdays or anniversaries. And why would they argue? Family Jones often has children, perfect, adorable children. Children that always behave and have their own cute wee style that everyone just coos over. We all want children like theirs.

Sound crazy but also familiar? Extreme maybe but I’m sure you have thought about someone else in this shape or form before.

As I mentioned above, don’t let the nature of the above fool you into thinking that no one sees you as a Jones simply because those 5 things aren’t on your lap. There are people who I want to be like because they can cook better than me, can sing or dance, have belongings I want, are more intellectual, heck sometimes I even want to be like someone because they are busier than me and I crave the buzz of deadlines! So don’t beat yourself up for looking up to someone else and wishing you were like them. Just simply remember than someone else is doing the same thing to you. Aspire to be a Jones by all means… but just as you aren’t ‘on a pedestal’ perfect, remember they aren’t too.

Do you have a Jones that you wish to be like?

What Jones like quality do you have that, if you were honest, you know others would crave?

Do you ever look at someone else’s seemly perfect life and blow it out to the extreme? Aka their whole world is effortless?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

12 thoughts on “F**k keeping up with the Joneses! #5TTT

  1. Juli@1000lovelythings says:

    Coincidentally this is the third time I read/ listen to this topic this week. And as it gets mentioned online more and more I get more and more interested. First when I heard that people feel bad when they compare themselfes to others on social media I was baffled. As I see now that this seems VERY common I am now very curious why I don’t. I mean I am glad I don’t I am just very interested in the psychology behind all this. I actually even re-read my notes from my social psychology studies from university. So far my notes suggest that I might be a sociopath ;-P
    Most posts/ podcasts I so far encountered say ‘just don’t compare yourself’. I think it’s not possible because that’s our nature. I like your take on it very much. I think if that makes you feel bad, look at it from a different angle. I think it’s very crucial though that this includes not to bring the other person down but to get a more realistic picture. I think you pointed that part out very well.
    I am very interested in this topic and I am going to read a bit more about it. I know in general I have high self-efficay believes but I think that can’t be all. I also seem to evaluate in a very selv-serving way aand I wonder where this comes from and how this plays together … okay I think I got carried away now. Anyway, let’s discuss that further when I have gathered more information.
    Great post my dear!
    Juli@1000lovelythings recently posted…Week in Review – Coffee and TVMy Profile

    • Jen says:

      I think I may have missed my hidden calling with psychology, it fascinates me! I really look forward to hearing your take on the matter when you have managed to gather more information. Whether that be the topic as a whole or simply how different folk tick and if you can work out why some compare and others don’t.
      And I don’t think I could ever tell anyone else not to compare. There are so many things out there in this world that are a part of our human nature, even if they can hurt us. What would be the point in saying not to do something that is so natural? It’s what we do after we compare that counts.

    • Jen says:

      I could tell you so many reasons why you would be a Jones to others. But we know perfection is untrue in our own lives so we must believe that it is untrue to others. We should never, especially in the online world, put anyone up on a pedestal… never ends well!

  2. Miss Polkadot says:

    Such a good topic to delve into because most of us [as in: people spending a good chunk of time online and hence having more people to potentially compare themselves with] have experienced this before. I’m definitely no exception here. However, I’ve come to realize and written about this before: what looks like #goals online or even in real life is just a snippet of somebody’s reality. They might deal with the same kind of sh*t we feel only poor us did. I remind myself of that whenever I find myself envying others.
    And yes, I’ve also experienced somebody else seeing me as their “Jones” before. A friend of mine to whom I looked like the Family Jones while her family was … complicated. But mine isn’t as always-happy-and-amazing, either. We all try to keep the bad parts of our lives hidden as best as we can so any comparison is off.
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Week in Review: Quality over quantityMy Profile

    • Jen says:

      Yes I totally agree. We keep all the bad to ourselves… and so does everyone else! All we see in others is perfection and it’s all they see in us! Knowing and truly believing the truth is the only way we can survive the comparison trap. It takes work and practice but I’m glad we are both getting there 🙂

  3. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets says:

    Those silly Jones, especially the perfect Mommy Jones. It seems like everyone is having babies lately and theirs are great daytime sleepers and the perfect child and I’m like WTF because Ave was so difficult in the beginning. I figure I’m just working through my battle scars early.

    I have no idea what trait I possess others would be envious of. Not to say one doesn’t exist, I’m just not sure what others would admire. I do admire your sunshine and access to the beach.
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Week in Review: Food, Frolicking and Felines (#108)My Profile

    • Jen says:

      Urgh the Mummy Jones… even though I’m not a Mum I can imagine they are some of the worst!
      I admire your courage – to be a Mum, to leave your career behind, to be who you are and say what you mean. I know this is total Jones perfectionism but you do have so many admirable qualities lovely and I can imagine many of your readers look up to you.

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