There is no secret. Everything is a choice. #5TTT

Hi all,

So many people out there are on the hunt constantly. The hunt for the secret. Those things that other people are hiding – the secret to success. What is the secret to health? What is the secret to happiness? What is the secret to 6 pack abs? What is the secret to having time to cook?

There has to be a secret right? There has to be elements that we are all hiding from one and other?

The answer? No.

There is no secret. Nothing at all. No one is hiding anything from you. In fact, what you need you have had all along. The ability to choose.

The choices you make in your life dictate your success. Now I’m not saying we can’t learn from our mistakes or poor choices, but the simple act of having the ability to choose is where it’s at. You maybe can’t choose all of your actions as you would desire (hello responsibilities), but you can choose how you feel about them.

This weeks 5 top tips looks at 5 areas where your choice matters. Where you know what you have to do, you just need to allow yourself to feel it.choice - Chase the red grape

Choose happiness

This one changed my life. And I’m not exaggerating. Whilst on the road of recovery, I was having a really hard time. I couldn’t break from negativity and feeling like everyone was attacking me. I had read about choosing happiness – aka when in a situation where you feel negative thoughts, you choose not to feel them and instead choose happiness. So I decided to give it a go. Every time I felt angry, before I responded to someone, I stopped, thought about if it was worth a reaction, and 9 times out of 10 chose instead to ignore it or to respond positively instead. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy and it took a lot of practice to build this as a core attitude into my life. But once you try, with each success you feel lighter, more free. And yes, definitely more happy.

Choose health

The media bombards you with information. Do this not that, eat this not that. But ultimately you know exactly what you should and shouldn’t do to be healthy. You just have to choose it. You know your body needs nutrients and they come in abundance from vegetables, fruits, meat, nuts etc. You know your body needs to move and the right form of movement for you is the one that makes you feel good. You know that sleep is important and that stress makes you feel bad. The secret to health is choosing to do those things, eat those things and eliminate the things that zap your energy.

Choose change

If you want a specific goal you have to make changes to achieve them. As I mentioned above, you want those 6 pack abs? You are going to have to choose to put in the work. You want to be able to cook? You are going to have to choose to try. What we want often requires us to change. Scary yes but it’s an emotion we are going to have to embrace if we want it.

Choose your motivation

Willpower, motivation… they are all driven by you. Everything you want you have to choose. Choosing once is hard. Choosing five times gets easier. Choosing to do something week in and out for a month, now that’s inspiring. Willpower and motivation become unnecessary when something is a choice. You can take responsibility for everything you do. Every good habit you build, every new routine you put in place to achieve your goals or live a positive life. Step up and take ownership of your decisions… or lack of.

Choose to be open

And finally I am adding in ‘choose to be open’ because you know this is a hard one for me. I can write with confidence and openness, but in my face to face real life I tend to be a closed book. Real life relationships are so important to our health and happiness and although it makes us vulnerable we can never connect fully without being vulnerable. So I am choosing to be open, choosing to be vulnerable, choosing to trust before it feels comfortable. I am choosing friendship over fear.

Do you find it hard to choose positivity over negativity?

What choices have you made for your health?

Does anyone ever ask you ‘what’s your secret’? (I get asked all the time what the secret is to getting up at 5am to go to CrossFit 4 times per week. My answer – I choose to get up when the alarm goes off).5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

5 thoughts on “There is no secret. Everything is a choice. #5TTT

  1. Cora says:

    But why is it so hard???

    Even though you want something and you create this beautiful image of what it will be like when you do it – why is it so hard to actually take the step to DO it? Even when the moment comes, it is so easy to just think, “oh not right now… ” or “I’ll feel like doing it more later…” I wonder if it is a fear of it not working out as you planned.
    I think I find your hardest point the most difficult. I know the power of mental strength. I know I can choose relaxation over worry and choose to let things slide off me instead of holding on to resentment or anger, but sometimes I just can’t. Or don’t choose to. I’m not sure which one it is. Its like I feel to stubborn to give those angry feelings justice. Blegh that is not enjoyable!
    Cora recently posted…Week In Review: Time to Slow Down, Rest, RestoreMy Profile

    • Jen says:

      I’m actually going to reply to you Cora via email – want to write more than I can in a blog response! 🙂

  2. Juli@1000lovelythings says:

    I think the hardest part about choosing something is that at the same time you always decide against something else. Like (as I have no other topic in my life right now) I chose to finish my thesis now. So I am constantly faced with chosing work over other things that matter to me too. Like photography, meeting friends, working out… I think the need to prioritize is that hard part.

    Choices are so interesting (I am coincidentally just writing a chapter about choices) and in the theory I use choices are explained by self efficacy beliefs, outcome expectations and environmental factors. So completely simplified when you think you can do something, perceive a valued outcome and you perceive no (or not too challenging) barriers you make choices that most likely translate into actions. It’s so funny I read through these studies and I keep nodding to myself because it all makes so much sense.
    I think what I want to say is that one of the main factors is to believe in yourself that you can choose happiness/ change/ health etc. And having a cheerleader doesn’t hurt either 🙂

    Sorry I am all over the place today. I hope that comment makes any sense.
    Juli@1000lovelythings recently posted…Week in Review – Rolling with the punchesMy Profile

    • Jen says:

      That’s so interesting that the chapter you are currently writing is about choices too. I can imagine all the reading you are doing does make complete sense – but putting it into practice is a different matter. Knowing you can though is the first step and with this article I wanted to show people that, in the first instance, making a choice for yourself can just be as simple as choosing to do so.

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