The mental challenges of moving home #5TTT

Hi all,

This weekend I am moving apartments. Phew.

It’s such a demanding time, stressful and everything just seems like it’s never going to come together.

We all know how physically demanding moving can be. Packing, lifting, sorting, up and down stairs, cleaning, lack of sleep etc. But have you ever thought about the mental challenges of moving home?

For this weeks 5 top tips I want to share 5 ways in which moving can affect your mental game. Take care and don’t let it stress you out. (I am telling myself this right now!).moving home - chase the red grape

Letting go of a safe space

Your home is your sanctuary. It’s where you feel safe and calm. Moving, no matter what the circumstances, means that you have to break free from this space – it’s why most of us take so long to make the big leap of moving in the first place. Embrace what this space has given you – a home, cosiness, memories and let go. Holding on makes it very difficult for your new home to provide this sense of comfort.

Reviewing your belongings

Moving means packing. Packing means arranging and sorting, viewing and making decisions on all the belongings you have of old and new. Do I need this? Do I want this? What memory does this evoke? So many questions for what is already a stressful time. My go to question is ‘would someone else get more use out of this?’ – donating always makes me feel good. For more sentimental belongings I ask myself ‘would future Jen potentially regret letting go of this?’ If the answer is yes or there is a doubt I keep it.

Overwhelm of cost

For some of us, like me, moving becomes a source of anxiety because of the financial cost. Never mind the general cost of paying different rents, deposits, transferring letting agencies and the like, it’s the hidden/ forgetful costs that pile up for me. Transferring utilities and internet, van hire, cost of packing materials, mail redirection, even down to the endless coffees and take out meals that are inevitable over moving days. Big deep breath. For most of us, this is not a frequent occurrence. Sure your savings are going to take a hit, but make the best choices, source out the best deals and be happy in the notion that although inevitable, you did the best you could money wise.

Creating a new home

You’re in a blank space. Your whole world surrounds you in boxes and bags. What do you do now? How do you create that safe space? Oh, did you notice that when we first took a look around? I don’t know if I like that. Why didn’t I notice that? Sound familiar?

Another big breath. Safe, cosy, calm spaces come over time. They come when you find a home for all your little nick naks. Don’t rush it, let it develop.

Big changes and how they affect the rest of your world

Moving home is a big deal, whether it be moving down the road, to another city or to the other side of the world. When one big change happens you start to look at other aspects of your life in a different way. One big change spurs another. We become more confident, more pensive, more ambitious. Now whether or not other changes come to fruition or these thoughts just come and go, that’s up to you. But if you can move house, what else can you do if you want to?

And for me, all that is left is to move!

Due to this I will be taking some time off and will be back to let you know how we got on with a Friday Favourites on the 15th! Keep up to date with the move etc over on Instagram – yep I will be that person who insta-stories rather than packing!

And don’t forget to check out this weeks podcast which is released tomorrow (Wed 6th). The topic is body image and it’s one heck of a podcast episode. We both speak open and honestly about our experience and it’s definitely worth a listen if you want to feel great about who you are and how you can control how you view yourself. Or subscribe over on iTunes or Stitcher and you definitely won’t miss it!

When was the last time you moved home?

Do you find it easy to create a new safe space?

Have you ever made a change in another area of your life after moving home?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

5 Chase the Red Grape Podcast episodes you should have listened to #5TTT

Hi all,

Last week David and I released the 40th episode of the Chase the Red Grape Podcast!

40 gone and here’s to the next 40!

It may seem like there are so many podcasts out there right now vying for your attention, and don’t get me wrong, I know our competition is awesome.

So why do we still record in this ever expanding market? Because we love it. It is my favourite platform to engage with you all and I love being able to truly express how I feel. Any writer will tell you that to do the same thing in words is extremely difficult!

So discussions turn heated and passionate, ideas are thrown, rants are ranted and raves are enlightened. Our goals, hidden talents, desires, flaws and true thoughts are revealed. We tell stories, relive moments that are key to us as individuals but also as a married couple and never edit out the awkward or confused. It’s just me Jen, joined by David, trying to help us all to be healthier, happier people.

So for this weeks 5 top tips on a Tuesday, I thought I would share with you all the 5 Chase the Red Grape Podcast episodes you should have listened to. Come find out what you have been missing!

(Find the podcast on iTunes, Stitcher or here on chasetheredgrape.com where you can listen though the web!)chase the red grape podcast

Episode 40 – Realities of your personality

I had to begin with the most recent one as it was incredible to record and brought up a lot of common issues. Knowing your personality and working with both the positive and negative traits of it can be rewarding in so many ways. Don’t let said ‘realities’ of who you are dictate which path you should proceed down

Episode 24 – Being a Brit living abroad

Many of you have joined us here as we made the big move from Scotland to Perth Australia. But what is it really like being an expat living abroad? In this hilarious episode we pick out the good, bad and the ugly of British culture and apply that to life here in Aus.

Episode 21 – The Open is over, what’s next

This may originally have been recorded in response to the CrossFit Open ending but it delivers an important message for any athlete looking at setting and achieving goals for the following year. Being honest with where you are at is hard but sometimes very necessary.

Episode 12 – Mental Illness – Relationships and recovery

This was a tough one to record but so wonderful to put out into the world. Many of us will be affected by mental illness either personally or regarding a friend or family member at some point in our lives. It’s good to know how you can help the process and talk about matters that need to be addressed.

Episode 35 – Comfort Zones – Are you happy in yours?

Rather than push you to break free from your comfort zone, we instead discuss how comfort zones can be bloody wonderful in this day and age. Going on the theory, if it makes you happy then do it, we show you how they can actually represent all what you want in life. On the other hand, if it doesn’t make you happy, we show you how you can break free from your zone to experience something new.

So head on over and give the podcast a listen! Please also share and tell your friends. And a big thank you to those who have been with us since the beginning – it makes us very happy!

The latest episode of the podcast will be released on Wednesday – Episode 41 – The best and worst pieces of advice we have been given – don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss it.

Enjoy!

Have you listened to the podcast yet?

What do you like to hear people talking about on podcasts – more personal or professional?

Has a podcast ever made an impact on your life?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

Self-compassion and giving kindness online #5TTT

Hi all,

Blogging, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat etc etc. Being a part of todays modern world means having 24/7 access to these websites and platforms. We see smiling faces, delicious food, read interesting stories but more often than not we read, look and as a result have opinions.

‘I wouldn’t do it that way’

‘No way would I try that’

‘That’s too much effort…’

‘That’s not enough effort!’

Some take their opinions to the extreme (trolls), some don’t go so far but instead make snarky comments. Others keep their opinions to themselves (thank you!) but it doesn’t stop us from feeling the way we feel. I’m not perfect. I don’t read blogs and look at pictures on Instagram and believe everyone is doing or saying the right thing. I disagree all the time and, like everyone, I let certain things really get to me. But I always reflect back – why do I feel this way? Then I give myself some compassion and the author and poster of said blog/ picture some kindness.

Let’s dive into that a bit more for this weeks 5 top tips on a Tuesday – self-compassion and giving kindness online.Self-compassion and giving kindness online - chase the red grape

Reflection

Reflecting back on why something makes you feel a certain way is important. We do it all the time in our day to day life but we somehow forget to do it when it comes to our online life. This person was not writing or posting directly to you, why have you taken it so personally? Does it expose some insecurities you have about yourself? Get to the bottom of why you feel this way.

Self-compassion

We are human. We are going to compare our lives and have different opinions. We are going to feel jealous, frustrated and hurt by what some people post. Some are pushing the boundaries trying to hit your buttons and you are falling right for the trap. But in these moments show yourself some compassion. So you see someone with the ‘ideal body’, who does 4 hours of cardio per day. You have reflected back and realised that this picture makes you feel insecure about your own body but also makes you angry at the message he/she is promoting. Be compassionate. You are human. This will happen. It’s what you do next that counts.

Kindness

Let’s carry on with the example above. You are feeling insecure and angry about that photo. You can do one of 3 things. 1) Leave an angry comment about how you disagree with their message 2) Walk away and stew for the next few hours letting it affect you. Or 3) Show them kindness.

Many people out there don’t realise what they have done would annoy you. Many folks are out there doing their best with what they know. You may be seeing their highlight reel but not knowing the struggle that goes on behind that post. They may be too afraid to show the truth or their fear. Kindness is acknowledging their right to post. Kindness is being friendly because it makes you feel good, not because you have to, but because you want to.

To follow or unfollow?

I follow people I disagree with on a regular basis. Why? Because I acknowledge their right to think differently from me. I like the questions they allow to bring up in my mind. I like that they help me define how I really feel about different issues. However, I have also followed people who have made me feel unhappy. I understand I am allowed to feel this way but the best kindness I can show this person is to unfollow them. You are in control of what you see on a regular basis. If someone does not gel with you or makes you feel unhappy then unfollow. It’s as simple as a click of a button.

Let it go

Our online lives are only going to become more prominent. We are going to be exposed more and more to things we don’t like/ disagree with. There were always people out there who thought differently to you, you just didn’t see them pop up on your Facebook feed every morning. Follow the steps above and even after you have unfollowed them, you must let it go. We all need to start either being at peace being surrounded by differing opinions or backing away from life online. Don’t let one picture or post ruin your day. Instead focus on the ones that have made your day. Keep your life online a happy one.

Do follow people online that you disagree with?

How do you react when you read something you don’t like?

How often do you unfollow people?

(Linking up with ‘Thinking Out Loud)5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

Pick your battles #5TTT

Hi all,

Are you tired of feeling like you have to fight all the time? Maybe your life feels like one constant battle. Maybe you feel like it’s one battle after the next after the next…

We live in stressful times – sometimes its external stress, sometimes it’s the stress we impose upon ourselves to be more, do more. Work, home, family, Instagram… fight, fight, fight. Aren’t you exhausted? I know I am.

So for this weeks 5 top tips I want to get you thinking about how we can all pick our battles in life. Battles are inevitable, but how they appear in our lives and how we react to them really is the key.Picking your battles - chase the red grape

Remember, life should be easy

It may sound obvious but sometimes I think we really do forget this point. The purpose of life isn’t to be hard, full of pressures and constant battles. It should be easy, fun and happy. If you can’t make your battles disappear then try introducing a new habit/ routine into your life to do something you enjoy. Taking a walk, reading a book, a long soak in the bath.

Priorities

Figure out your priorities. What do you really want to focus on? What demands your attention and deserves your attention? What battles are worth fighting? What is worth your time, energy, drive and, sometimes a part of your soul? (Or it sure feels like it anyway!). Fighting for equal pay at work = a battle worth fighting for. Trying to get your kids to pick up their socks and allowing it to drive you insane = not worth it.

Seek clarity

Are you fighting? Is it really a battle? Are you the only one in your team that feels this way? Battles can be surrounded by so much confusion, how do we really feel? In order to work this out you need to focus on gaining clarity. Make sleep a priority so that your mind can process the information and break it down into the necessary and unnecessary. Take some time to walk or meditate. Allow yourself to slow down during the madness so that you can really take stock of what is going on. Maybe you do need to be a warrior for a while – take care of yourself so that you are in the best head space to fight.

Sometimes the right thing to do is give in

You win some, you lose some, right? Well you need to let this be your mantra. If it’s not worth fighting then it’s perfectly fine to give in. You are not a loser! You are not weak! You are not less of a person! Remember this! Picking your battles means that often you just have to let go. You may not be entirely happy but you won’t have gained the stress and anxiety that often comes with fighting. And soon enough, if it wasn’t worth fighting for then the anger will disappear.

Take ownership of your choices

Whatever you decide to do in battle, fight or not, just make sure you own your choice. There is nothing more confidence boosting that taking ownership of your own decisions. You may decide that a particular argument just isn’t worth it but are you letting the other person ‘win’ if you walk away with your head held high and don’t allow it to affect you? No. You win because you took control of your own life and your own decisions, regardless of what that decision was.

You have the right to pick and choose your battles – just make sure to take advantage of it!

Do you feel like you are constantly fighting?

Are you good at assessing what’s worth fighting and what’s not?

Are you good at walking away from an argument?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

The guide to assuming #5TTT

Hi all,

Assume = making an ass out of u and me. Now I am sure you have all heard of that phrase! We assume which makes both you and I look bad.

But assumptions are creeping more and more into our daily lives, making this phrase all the more relevant.

We assume things about others, heck we assume things about ourselves! We assume paths and outcomes from choices we make, situations we are in and problems we might face. Often these assumptions stop us from making choices/ decisions in the first place. We assume so often rather than being open to possibilities, it can be a hindrance to us all.

So why do we assume? What can we do to turn our assumptions around? What elements can we practice in our daily lives so that assuming doesn’t hold us back? Lets dive into this weeks 5 top tips on a Tuesday!assuming - chase the red grape

Why the negative?

Assumptions are almost always negative. Why do we jump to that conclusion? Protection. We do it to protect ourselves from the potential hurt in any situation. We assume someone thinks badly of us or no one would want to spend time with us to protect us from the potential of it being true. We use our experiences of being burned in the past to predict the future. Sometimes we may be right, but if we only think of the negative outcomes we are never fully informing ourselves of the situation and every possible outcome. And that doesn’t sound very fair to me!

Reasoning with yourself

You have to check in with your thoughts, feelings and actions to stop being someone who ‘assumes’. What is the situation? Why are you thinking this way? Are you being negative? What would be the other side to the argument? I try to ask myself these questions when I find myself assuming a certain outcome from someone or a situation. I also point blank ask others these questions when I know they are assuming. Reason with yourself and be a rational thinker – don’t let assumptions lead to more stress in your world.

Reality

The moment has come and gone. You assumed a certain something and the result of that has presented itself. You were wrong. What do you do now? You learn from the reality. In some situations we can’t help but assume, it’s all we have. But we should always reflect on what the reality ended up being. If we want to be driven by our experiences we have to learn from when our assumptions burned us, what we missed out on, and when we should dismiss the negative thoughts.

Turn it around

These previous experiences can be turned around! Decide not to go on a trip with your girlfriends because you assume they don’t want you there? But they message you every day with pictures saying they missed you? You assumed and judged wrongly. So turn it around. Arrange another trip for you all to go on. By assuming things about others you put people in a bad light, but actually all it really does is speak wonders about who you are and how you react to things/ work out your choices. If you recognise these thoughts within yourself decide how they are currently serving you. Do your assumptions help or hinder your decisions about yourself and others?

Do you even care?

And last but not least, do you even care? So often we make an assumption about others or ourselves when in reality we don’t even care what the outcome is! So why be brought down by the negative thoughts or crazy office gossip when it doesn’t affect you or your daily life. Why assume what choices others will make when we have absolutely no control over the outcome. Why assume the weather will be bad when you have decided to have a weekend at home anyway? Leave space inside your head for what you care about. Assuming is guessing without knowing or having any proof – let’s all try to remember that when it’s controlling how we live our life!

Do you tend to assume in situations?

What have you assumed the most about yourself but have been surprised at the outcome?

Ever been burned by an assumption?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

Aim for done, not perfect #5TTT

Hi all,

Ah perfectionism. That old chestnut.

We see the word, we feel the trait within our personality, we tell ourselves that it is a positive, that it drives us and motivates us… but does it really? How can it when ‘perfect’, more often than not, is all based on opinion not fact. One persons perfect is another’s imperfect.

Perfection pushes us but not in the way we would like. Taken to extreme it can push you into many stressful, unhappy situations that, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t escape from. Many of you will know, it’s a rough patch.

But what if I told you that your aim in life should be ‘done’. How many times have you strived for perfection and as a result never achieved anything? Work, relationships, the ideal home life… let’s dive in.perfect - chase the red grape

Unrealistic goal – what is perfect anyway?

As mentioned above, the meaning of perfection in any situation can vary. It is very hard to achieve. Let’s use a really simple example of baking a cake. You want it to be perfect, it’s for a special occasion. But what is perfect? A professional looking cake? Have you spent years practicing for this moment? Does the perfect icing to you look crisp and even? But what if I told you my perfect icing was ooey, gooey and messy?

In making the perfect cake you have spent time stressing over the details when none of that will matter at all. Your friend will just be happy you put in the effort to make him a cake from scratch… and no one will notice where the icing didn’t meet up…

Better to have taken some action than none at all

Constantly striving for perfection often means that your task is never done. You never hand in that side project you have been so engaged with at work. You don’t hand over the baby blanket you have knitted for you friends new baby. Sometimes you don’t even bother trying because you know it can’t be perfect… “…and if it can’t be perfect then why try at all…” – this coming from a recovered perfectionist. Simply try – I guarantee you will never regret taking action but will regret action never taken.

Believe that your best is enough – and that your best will change

Your best is different to being perfect. Your best can change. Your best is more realistic. Your best represents you. Any task you put your mind to, aim for simply doing your best rather than an obscure notion of ‘perfect’. Your best will change dependant on how you are feeling that day, how much experience you have, what else is going on in your world. No one, including yourself, could or should ever ask more of you than your best.

Trying is believing in yourself

Get started. Do your best and try. It may not be what you had hoped for… but that’s ok. Simply trying in this big crazy world is enough – it shows the world that you believe in yourself. And folks, confidence is sexy! Confidence is free! Confidence doesn’t mean getting it perfect, it means putting yourself out there and not being afraid to fail…. because so what? You tried and that means everything.

It’s only a first draft, don’t sweat it!

Aim for done, not perfection…. because guess what? It’s only a first draft! Everything in life can change, we can change, our careers can change, our relationships, our home, our dreams…. just let it be your first draft. Don’t sweat it out.

Do what you need to do. Life is too short spend on the never-ending search for perfect.

Are you a perfectionist?

Do you try things you know won’t be perfect?

Have you ever found ‘perfect’ in any situation?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

When the seasons change #5TTT

Hi all,

The world is changing seasons. Whether you are like me and transitioning into winter or you are in the northern hemisphere transitioning into summer, we are all making a ‘change’.

These changes, even though they happen year in and out, still take a toll on our physical and mental health. I know for sure that heading into winter, right now I feel more tired, sluggish and less like the energetic me!

So how can we help ourselves transition smoothly? What can we do to give our mind and body what it needs to start the new season with a bang? Check out my 5 top tips below for when the seasons change.seasons - chase the red grape

Find a routine

Especially during the start of the transition, keeping a routine will be key to maintaining all the good habits you had from the season previous. Now when I get up it’s pitch black outside – but I still stick to my same wake up time and this makes it easy for my body to work out when I have had enough sleep and it’s time to rise. Same goes for the summer folks – it may be easier to stay up later because it’s lighter outside but stick to your bedtime and it will know when you need to sleep.

Keep moving

Who wants to go outside and move when it’s wet and cold outside? Who wants to move when you break into a sweat as soon as you step outdoors? Whether it be hot or cold for you right now it is going to be a struggle. But we all know that keeping our bodies moving and grooving is going to keep that blood flow pumping and help us stay energised. Too cold? You will warm up soon enough. Too hot? Maybe you take your workout indoors at this time of year. Figure out what you need to do to keep your body moving.

Choose foods in season

Seasonal foods are the healthiest foods for a reason. They are at their prime, aka full of their biggest nutrient bang, and are full of the energy you need right now. Unsure what is in season? Usually it’s the produce that is on offer/special at the supermarket. In season = in abundance. A win for your body and a win for your pocket!

What are you missing?

This is a great opportunity to assess your body to see if it is lacking anywhere. If it is winter, maybe you need to check in with yourself to see if you are getting enough vitamin D. I also like to have on hand access to blankets in my apartment so if I feel cold it is easy to warm up. If it is summer, maybe you need to make sure you carry a water bottle with you and keep those fluids topped up. Or you need to start seriously thinking about adding some sunscreen to your makeup routine. Maybe you need to start checking your electric fans and air con to see if it is all working correctly. Pre-empt the seasonal changes and make sure you are ready.

Embrace the change

This one is the biggest winner for my mental health. Embrace the changes of the season. Yes I may wish I was still in shorts and t-shirts every day and that I could head down to the beach for a paddle. But there is something special about winter too. The crisp cold air that you feel on your face all while being surrounded with layers of clothes keeping you warm. Crunching the leaves underneath your feet that have fallen from the trees. Digging out your slow cooker to make soups, stews and chilli. Oh and sipping away on mulled wine again… in June… yeah I may never get used to how odd that sounds!

And you may be sitting in front of your air con all day because it is too hot to do anything (me a few months ago) but just think of how good it feels to jump into the refreshing sea. How tasty those perfectly ripe strawberries and cherries are. And how refreshing that cocktail is when you sit down after a busy long summers day.

Whatever transition you are making right now I hope it is a good one! Enjoy!

Are you happy to be heading into your new season?

What are you most looking forward to?

What are you dreading?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

Why I will never tell you to hustle #5TTT

Hi all,

How many times have you heard the word ‘hustle’ recently? Because I keep hearing it more and more.

‘Create your own side hustle’

‘In order to achieve all you need to do is put in the work and hustle’

‘Winners hustle’

Just some of the examples I am hearing on a daily basis when it comes to this word.

I must admit I never really saw it as a positive term – using it only when I wanted to explain someone or something that was pushy, frantic, rapid. So why do we now use the word as a way to describe someone who works hard? Who puts in the grunt work? Who goes above and beyond what they need to?

I for one will never tell you to hustle. For this weeks 5 top tips on a Tuesday I will explain to you why.hustle - chase the red grape

Sometimes your life is enough

‘You could be more if you just were to hustle’, ‘Be a stay at home mum with a successful business on the side, if you hustle’. Well sometimes my life and your life is enough the way it is thank you very much. Life should be easy and fun. Yes we all have to work hard to achieve our dreams and some people could do with a little nudge but as a whole one word should not dictate how we live our lives. It’s ok for our life to be enough. We may not have all the money we want, the house we want, our own perfect side business or the exact career we want but if it makes you happy then it’s enough. No hustle needed.

Sometimes you need time

Hustle = rapid and fast paced. Well sometimes we all need a bit of time. Time to grow, time to learn, time to gain experience, time to think so we don’t make mistakes. Sometimes we aren’t cut out to hustle. Sometimes we want to take our time. I am not going to force you to go faster than you want to. We cannot blend together the term hard work and hustle. Hard work is what we need to achieve our dreams. ‘The Hustle’ is the next step. The extreme if you will.

Taking away the fun from your hobbies, interests and passions

I have listened to many podcasts over the past few weeks that have looked at the subject of turning your hobbies and interests into side hustles. But why? Yes if you want to, yes if it will bring you joy or you want to test the waters to see if it could bring you a viable income stream. But I fear that allowing it to become a side hustle (aka a small business) may take away the reason it brought you happiness in the first place – because it allowed you to relax.

Pressure

We have so many pressures put upon us to be perfect in all we do. Now we have to add hustle to the list? So if we aren’t running about, working day and night and pushing then we can’t live the life we want? Do the hustlers out there realise the pressures they are imposing upon us to have to do the same? Some personalities thrive from the hustle, others are intimidated by it. Many hate the sound of it. Whatever type you are just don’t be pressured into it. It is your choice.

Comparison… yet again

This links back to the pressure we put upon ourselves when we, once again, have something to compare ourselves to others. Maybe I am not good enough because I don’t strive like her. Maybe I’m not good enough because I don’t work late nights and weekends. Maybe I just don’t know if I want it enough. Stop and reflect. I work hard but I know I don’t have it in me to hustle. Yes I want to be successful. Yes I want to live my dreams. But do I want it bad enough to hustle for it? Maybe not. And that’s ok.

Most importantly, it’s up to you. I’m not going to pressure you into having to live your life hustling. If you feel you need to, I will support you, but I am not going to force upon you that the chances of you living your dream depend on your level of hustle. For me, life goes fast enough anyway without having to hustle it away!

Are you sick of being told to hustle?

Or are you motivated by it?

Do you like to go ‘all in’ or are you a ‘live and learn’ type person?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

Gratitude. It’s not a buzzword… #5TTT

Hi all,

I’m sure you have heard the word gratitude being thrown into every conversation at the moment. Being thankful and grateful… or the word I hear associated with gratitude most often, especially online, #blessed.

Call it what you will. Use it in any way you will. But the art of gratitude has been with us as human beings for a long time, and long may it continue.

I, for one, am very happy that more and more people are being introduced to the concept of gratitude but like many other things out there, we had the ability and awareness all along. Maybe for some we just need a little nudge or a way to gain some clarity.

For this weeks 5 top tips on a Tuesday I want to discuss with you the ways in which you can bring gratitude into your own life… and more importantly how!gratitude - chase the red grape

A practice

No matter how you want to bring gratitude into your life please be aware that it is a practice. Start small and develop it into a habit and you will see more happiness in your life. Gratitude journals are all the rage right now where you list what you are grateful for on a daily/ weekly basis but sometimes I think that can be too overwhelming and too easy to eventually forget about. For me, I like lying in bed at night and listing what the ‘peak’ of my day was and something I ‘loved’ from my day. We do it every night before we go to sleep and it always makes me sleep with a smile. Try making it a habit with your partner or children or maybe it could be something to talk about at the dinner table each night!

It is not about ignoring the bad

It’s a real misconception that gratitude practice is about ignoring the bad or stressful situations that are going on in your life. Gratitude wont take them away, but it may help lighten the load on your mind. There will always be stress, speed and manic times in our lives, gratitude practice is about seeing the light in your tunnel. Pulling your joy to the forefront.

Seeing the beauty in our world

For me, gratitude also comes in the form of taking in my surroundings. Yesterday I felt grateful for the warm sun on a chilly day and the crunchy leaves that coat the pavement leaving me very entertained. Gratitude can come in the form of simply being thankful for the world that surrounds us. Sometimes it can be more grounding to focus on this side of the gratitude sphere.

Realising the joy in the mundane

Relating a fresh ‘peak’ and ‘love’ of the day to David, day in and out, sounds like it would be hard work. Often they are repeats and there is nothing wrong with that. But also they often highlight small joys in the mundane. Like listening to my favourite music whilst chopping up vegetables. A server at the store commenting on how much she likes my ring. Being ability to call my Mum when I want to even if I didn’t speak to her that day. It makes you realise how lucky you are to have what we have, even if it feels like on the grand scale we are struggling.

Knowing how you truly feel

Gratitude is basically checking in with your body and your mind. Think of it as taking stock but instead of allowing your mind to drift into the negative, you pull it back into the positive. If there are things in your life that you are thankful for and they make you happy, do you make them a priority? Do you view certain people now in a different light? They may not act the way you would like but you are thankful that they try and always have time for you. All kinds of questions about you and how you feel about your life can pop up when you start practicing gratitude. Such a small thing that can lead to you living a truthful and more fulfilled life. You just have to be open to letting it in.

Do you practice gratitude?

Tell me something you are thankful for?

Are you good at discussing gratitude with others?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape

Why do we intentionally hold ourselves back? #5TTT

Hi all,

You are your own worst enemy.

It’s a line that I write over and over again. Its truth never ceases to end…

We can all cite many reasons as to why we are not doing what we want to do this exact second. Money, time, energy, opportunity, circumstance etc I could list for days. But have you actually debated as to whether or not you are the reason for holding yourself back? Are you your own blockade?

Some say we hold ourselves back because we are afraid of succeeding. But I know from my own personal experience that success doesn’t even come into my head when I hold myself back from entering new territory. When you are frozen by your own hand the easy option is to continue being cold.

For this weeks 5 Top Tips on a Tuesday I am going to delve into why we intentionally hold ourselves back. From your career to relationships, hobbies and health, reflect on the questions and information below so we can remove your own personal blockade in life.intentionally - chase the red grape

Judgement

Do you remember when you were young and you had a hobby or interest that you just loved and took so much pleasure from? But you actually ditched the interest because others thought it was uncool or stupid? We always felt like we were being judged by our peers when we were younger and what others thought of us meant the world. But time has passed. You are now a grown up. Why do you still allow that fear of judgement to stop you from doing something you love? Do you really care nowadays what other people think? We are all different. We all like different things. Don’t allow the judgement from others to rule and dictate your life. Be you, be loud and be proud.

Fear of change

Change is scary. Always has been, always will be. But your dreams and goals are achieved through change. Don’t hold yourself back because you are afraid of what the future may hold if you change the status quo. No one knows what it will hold. Maybe that change will be just what you need.

Unwillingness to be seen

So let me use myself as an example here. I love what I do. I love to write. According to every single personality test out there I am an extrovert. Yet I find it hard to talk about myself. I put up walls to protect myself from being hurt by others. I find it difficult to trust. I find it hard to really describe and talk about what I do. So I don’t. I listen often but rarely talk. I want people to notice me but I don’t allow myself to be seen. And therein lies my answer. How can anyone see me unless I remove my own wall?

Comfort in the now

Comfort in the now is different to fear of change. Fear of change refers to a fear of the future. Comfort in the now is where living in the present can paralyze us. We live our routines day in and day out like clock work. They are our comfort blankets. For some, they help us to thrive. For others they can shield you eyes. So how do you know which is you? Happiness. Are you entirely happy right now with your life? Yes? Then great. No? Then start removing your hands from over your eyes. See the world around you. How can you create change?

We feel we need more – comparison

Ah yes the good old comparison trap. It gets us every time, whether we realise it or not. But do you ever hold yourself back because you know, even if you go for it, you won’t be as good as someone else? What’s the point then? They will always be better, faster, more intelligent etc. Because you are you. You need to find comfort in your own achievements, regardless of what others have done. Be proud of what you can do and continue to do. Do your best not to compare. If there is anything out there you want to do – simply try. You may not succeed or be as good as others but you will be inspiration to so many, including yourself, because you to took down your barriers, went out there and tried.

Is there any area of your life where you intentionally hold yourself back?

Do you like being seen by others?

Is routine a good or bad comfort for you?5 top tips on a tuesday - chase the red grape