Every single year, I give my husband a Valentine’s Day card. I enjoy going to the store and finding the ‘husband’ section. I read the front and inside of probably 10 cards. Some make me laugh, some make me cry. Sometimes they are just exactly what I want to say. Sometimes they aren’t and I buy a blank to create my own. But every year since we were dating, I have given David a card.
To this extent you could say that we ‘celebrate’ Valentine’s Day. And that’s ok with me.
Some send cards. Some give flowers. Some make their partners favourite breakfast or dinner. Others leave a note in their packed lunch. Some go out for a big romantic meal. Others have a cosy night on the sofa. Some give jewellery, gifts wrapped in the perfect packaging and teddy bears. Others a single red rose. Many do nothing.
Everyone, on the other hand, has an opinion.
Maybe it is just commercialism at it’s finest. Maybe we do put too much pressure on the ‘ideal’ of the day. Maybe it does make others feel unwanted. Maybe, maybe not.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I respect whatever yours may be. That respect only exists however, if it isn’t accompanied by a hearty dose of shame.
We used to shame those who didn’t celebrate. Now we shame those who do celebrate! Over and over I hear people talking about Valentine’s Day, shaming others by asking, ‘So why this day?’, ‘Why not throughout the year?’, ‘What makes this day special?’, ‘You are just a fool, conned into the commercialism of it all’, ‘Showing your love shouldn’t just be for one day’. These questions? These questions you pose to a person or write as a comment online… they are just another form of shame.
Shame is not fair. Shame is not cool, Shame is being a bully.
So this year and in the years to come, you do what is right for you and your partner. Cards, gifts, big gestures or even nothing at all. Whatever you choose is fine by me. What you decide to celebrate is not up for discussion, debate or review. Keep the shame at bay, own your choice and simply have a wonderful Wednesday whatever it may bring!
Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Do you find it hard to keep your opinion of it at bay?